Derek and Clive

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Bub&Bob
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Derek and Clive

Post by Bub&Bob » Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:31 am

Anyone find this funny?
I sitting here at work, listening to it on my headphones and keep getting funny looks from people everytime I crack up - I think its classic!
The dry fart for Barry MacDermot and all the cancer patients in the Glamorgan testicle ward

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Wil
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Post by Wil » Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:46 am

That bag of sick LP cover was the stuff of schoolyard legends :)

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felgekarp
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Post by felgekarp » Thu Oct 25, 2007 11:08 am

I haven't heard a full album, I've only seen clips of them on various documentaries but what I have seen appeared to be incredibly offensive and therefore funny.
Splink!

Bub&Bob
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Post by Bub&Bob » Thu Oct 25, 2007 11:22 am

Def worth getting hold the Derek & Clive CDs (they are only £5 each on Play.com) - unless, of course, you are offended by the 'C' word!
The dry fart for Barry MacDermot and all the cancer patients in the Glamorgan testicle ward

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Wildnites
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Post by Wildnites » Thu Oct 25, 2007 1:56 pm

As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was a man, shouting and screaming out of an upper storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was sore afraid
Jump, you f***er, jump
Jump into this 'ere blanket wot we are 'olding
And you will be alright
He jumped, 'it the deck, broke 'is f**king neck
There was no blanket
Laugh, we nearly shat
We 'ave not laughed so much since grandma died
Or Auntie Mable caught her left censored in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Filthy f**kers
Arrr'soles

I love that song and the whole album is great :lol: :lol:
Last edited by Wildnites on Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Please Sir I cannot tell a lie......

Bub&Bob
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Post by Bub&Bob » Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:00 pm

I though it best not to quote here!!

PS - I like the way f**king gets censored but fucker and fuckers doesn't!!
You stupid ****
The dry fart for Barry MacDermot and all the cancer patients in the Glamorgan testicle ward

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Wildnites
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Post by Wildnites » Thu Oct 25, 2007 2:05 pm

Bub&Bob wrote:I though it best not to quote here!!

PS - I like the way f**king gets censored but fucker and fuckers doesn't!!
You stupid ****
Don't think you can have a Derek & Clive thread without quotes.....

I have edited my other post, so not to upset people :)
Please Sir I cannot tell a lie......

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The5thAxis
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Post by The5thAxis » Wed Dec 12, 2007 8:49 pm

The movie that Peter Cook and Dudley Moore made as 'Derek & Clive' was absolute crap, but also sad and the cracks in their relationship were clearly showing and there was a huge amount of tension between them. They don't allude to this at all in the film, but Dudley Moore refused to turn up for the 3rd day of filming as he was fed up with being humiliated by Peter.

Of the albums, I would say the first is the best. The 'Cancer' song absolutely cracks me up, and the monologue about picking out lobsters from the arse of Jayne Mansfield had me in hysterics.

But, here's the deal. Do me a favour and listen to Peter Cook's work on the 'Beyond The Fringe' album, or his performances on 'The Secret Policeman's Ball' - then and only then will you get a true measure of the man's genius.

Donkey Shayne
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offensive at/and best

Post by Donkey Shayne » Wed Dec 12, 2007 10:31 pm

Here where you guy’s sent the convicts, we find Derek and Clive incredibly offensive, of very low standard in human communication and social standing and therefore the funniest and most entertaining material available in the world. I used to have and old dubbed tape to listen to and was recently ecstatic to find a CD version. I often put this on at the end of parties for everyone to have a ball tearing laugh at prior to unconsciousness. :shock:

Bub&Bob
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Re: offensive at/and best

Post by Bub&Bob » Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:59 am

Donkey Shayne wrote:Here where you guy’s sent the convicts, we find Derek and Clive incredibly offensive, of very low standard in human communication and social standing and therefore the funniest and most entertaining material available in the world. I used to have and old dubbed tape to listen to and was recently ecstatic to find a CD version. I often put this on at the end of parties for everyone to have a ball tearing laugh at prior to unconsciousness. :shock:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
The dry fart for Barry MacDermot and all the cancer patients in the Glamorgan testicle ward

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Opa-Opa
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Post by Opa-Opa » Thu Dec 13, 2007 9:50 am

The only time I experianced something similar was at a Spurs match..
I was sitting there minding my own business when this bloke walks up to me and says "Hello"..

Prevocative F***er!!

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bensonrad
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Post by bensonrad » Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:46 pm

Peter Cook was a true comedy legend, I just wish they would release a the full series of Goodbye Again that they found in the archieves a few years back, rather than the best of. I was watching Arthur 2 the other day with Dudley Moore, (playing his drunk character) reminded me of derek & clive. (without the swearing ofcourse)
WANTED: Mario Party 3 on N64 (just the Box only) ANY SNES GAMES, OR EMPTY SNES BOXES, INSTRUCTION MANUALS or WHITE INNER TRAYS.

Bub&Bob
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Post by Bub&Bob » Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:40 pm

Had to be Derek and Clive for my 1000th post :lol:

CLIVE: I'll tell you one thing I can't stand .....
DEREK: Tell me.
CLIVE: ..... about Russia, is the dead bodies in your hotel room.
DEREK: Oh, blimey, yeah.
CLIVE: 'cause I booked into a second class hotel, you know, second class hotel, .....
DEREK: Mmm.
CLIVE: ..... two stars, and, er, I asked, er, room service, erm, tch, you know, for a light meal 'cause I was going sight-seeing the next morning.
DEREK: Mmmm.
CLIVE: And I said, "I'd like some chips and a-, you know, a steak medium-rare and a banana fritter", you know.
DEREK: Mmm.
CLIVE: And, er, this bloke come up to the room and, frankly, it wasn't what I ordered. He brought up, er, three thousand dissidents .....
DEREK: Oh, w-, blimey.
CLIVE: ..... with their testicles attached to electrodes.
DEREK: Tss!
CLIVE: And I said, "Call this censored room service? 's not room service," I said, "I asked for chips, steak .....
DEREK: Yeah.
CLIVE: ..... and banana fritters .....
DEREK: Right.
CLIVE: ..... I get three thousand censored dissidents on a tray."

http://www.phespirit.info/derekandclive/
Enjoy!!
The dry fart for Barry MacDermot and all the cancer patients in the Glamorgan testicle ward

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The5thAxis
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Post by The5thAxis » Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:54 pm

lol

I've just changed my quote to a little quip made to Clive from Derek in their 1979 live show...
"I am blind, but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as broil. I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again..."

Bub&Bob
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Post by Bub&Bob » Sun Apr 20, 2008 11:03 pm

Not for viewing at work.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UT02--Ijdc
The dry fart for Barry MacDermot and all the cancer patients in the Glamorgan testicle ward

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