It is Christmas week and the retro chat is running this Sunday. The link to the discord chatroom is in my signature. I hope to see you from Sunday 9pm
And now here is an updated tale for the festive season:
__________________________________A CHRISTMAS CAROL_______________________________________
'Twas Christmas Eve in the year of 1985, and the manager of the main London Dixons branch was miserly old Ebenezer Sugar. He made himself rich by selling dreadful electronics to unsuspecting customers and wouldn't give refunds. Poor Mr Cratchit had come to buy a Commodore 64 for his son Tim, but Ebenezer told him the Amstrad CPC464 model was a much better deal. On the basis of what Sugar told him, he bought the Amstrad instead. And then Sugar's nephew Fred wanted a Spectrum, but again, Ebenezer told him how the Amstrad had far superior software, and he too was fooled into buying one. Oh, how Ebenezer smiled.
But that Christmas Eve night, lying in bed, he heard a wailing behind the door. He turned round and saw a spirit in chains pass through. Ebenezer screamed and shouted "Who are you and what do you want??!?" The spirit replied, "I am the ghost of Christmas Sh*te. Touch my robe and I will show you visions of the despair to come." So he touched his robe, and then he saw a poor little boy crying in his room, seemingly inconsolable. Sugar asked the spirit, "Why does he lament?" The spirit replied, "He weeps because has been given an Amstrad on your advice, and is now destined to suffer the ugly multicoloured buttons on the tacky keyboard, a cr*p green screen monitor with blocky graphics that can't be replaced with a regular television, and unbelievably sh*t Roland games clearly made by people who don't know how to program." Ebenezer felt a sense of guilt for the first time.
Then the spirit showed him Fred's house. It was another vision of Christmas Day: the living room had the Amstrad set up with Roland In Time loaded up, but no-one was playing it. Sadly, Fred was dangling from the ceiling having hanged himself after playing the Roland games he got with the machine. Ebenezer screamed. "Noooooo!!!!!" He collapsed to the ground in front of the spirit and shouted "I will change!! Please believe me! I'm not the man I was! Great god almighty, I'm not the man I was!! Give me another chance!!"
Suddenly, Ebenezer Sugar woke up in his bed. It was Christmas Morning. "The spirits have given me another chance!!" He quickly drove to the Dixons warehouse and loaded a spare Commodore 64 and Spectrum into the boot of his car. He went to Cratchit's house and apologised, giving Tim the C64 with free joystick. How his eyes lit up at the sight of that! Then he visited Fred. "Can you forgive a stupid old man such as I? Take this Spectrum, and here's some free Ultimate games and Bomb Jack to go with it!" Fred shouted, "Hurrah for Uncle Sugar!" and everyone cheered as Sugar joined the party, making merry for the rest of the day. He even won the high score contest on Bomb Jack.
Ebenezer Sugar was more than true to his word, recommending all customers not to buy any Amstrad products. Sinclair and Commodore ruled, Amstrad went bust, and gamers were happy ever after. GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!!
