It is of course devastating to realise that one of my main interests is in fact responsible for so much of the suffering in the developed world. Yes folks, it's true: video games directly inspired the recent mass murder shootings in America. I actually feel in part to blame for the killings myself, as I had the audacity to visit the Arcade Club in Leeds to play classic games from the last four decades. I mean, how crass is that? People are dying in America, and what do I do? I participate in the very thing that made it happen. Disgusting, I know.
And you know what? I actually found myself taking part in my own appalling acts of violence when I left. Having played Mr Do and Final Fight, I saw an old woman on the street and threw a bouncing ball at her, which completely knocked her to the ground. Another passer by tried to restrain me, but I found a giant metal pole and smashed him across the face with it before performing a massive jump kick which he didn't get up from. Then I went to the newsagents and bought a newspaper. But it was rubbish, so on the way to the station I threw the paper at a suburban house window, smashing it completely and then shouted "Don't tell my boss!" After that I went home.
Look, I'm sorry for what I did, okay? I just couldn't help myself. It was the videogames that made me do it, you've got to believe me! I hope you are able to forgive my actions enough to answer this week's hot topic in the Discord Chatroom, and the question is this:
What is the most violent 1980s retro game you ever played??
I would suggest Final Fight would have to be in there. Double Dragon was simpler graphically but there was some pretty explicit fighting with knees to the face quite often. Target Renegade on the 8 bits emulated this pretty well. In terms of body count, you can't argue with Commando, where at the end of levels you find yourself doing 360 degree spins while shooting manically to kill dozens of people. But what do
you think is the most violent 80s game? Tune in on Sunday at 9pm for the chatroom using the link in my signature. Everyone is welcome. And remember, if you're playing any games between now and then, try not to kill anyone!
