Tell me an old joke

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Bub&Bob
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Tell me an old joke

Post by Bub&Bob » Wed May 23, 2007 8:21 am

I start with an oldie but its one of my favourites....

Two cannibles are sitting eating a clown when one turns to the other and says, does this taste funny to you?
The dry fart for Barry MacDermot and all the cancer patients in the Glamorgan testicle ward

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Elgin_McQueen
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Post by Elgin_McQueen » Wed May 23, 2007 8:35 am

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo Hoo?
Don't cry it's only me! :wink:
TMR wrote: And you wonder why you're being labelled as elitist... you couldn't be any more elite if you were a wireframe.

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The Master
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Post by The Master » Wed May 23, 2007 9:03 am

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple?




























... getting raped!


(well I laughed :))

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Elgin_McQueen
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Post by Elgin_McQueen » Wed May 23, 2007 9:03 am

As did I! :lol: :lol: :lol:
TMR wrote: And you wonder why you're being labelled as elitist... you couldn't be any more elite if you were a wireframe.

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Antiriad2097
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Post by Antiriad2097 » Wed May 23, 2007 9:04 am

What goes black, white, red, black, white, red?

A nun in a meat slicer.
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Tom_Baker wrote:I just finished watching a film about Stockholm syndrome. It started out terrible but by the end I really liked it.

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Elgin_McQueen
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Post by Elgin_McQueen » Wed May 23, 2007 9:05 am

Why did the baby fall off the swing?

It didn't have any arms.
TMR wrote: And you wonder why you're being labelled as elitist... you couldn't be any more elite if you were a wireframe.

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FatTrucker
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Post by FatTrucker » Wed May 23, 2007 9:09 am

How do you turn a cat into a dog?.

Set it alight......woof!.
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Antiriad2097
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Post by Antiriad2097 » Wed May 23, 2007 9:10 am

What's black and white and can't turn around in a lift?

A nun with a spear through her head.
The Retro League - Where skill isn't an obstacle
Retrocanteen, home of the unfairly banned
Tom_Baker wrote:I just finished watching a film about Stockholm syndrome. It started out terrible but by the end I really liked it.

Bub&Bob
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Post by Bub&Bob » Wed May 23, 2007 9:12 am

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my ass."

Doctor: "I've got some cream for that!"
The dry fart for Barry MacDermot and all the cancer patients in the Glamorgan testicle ward

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FatTrucker
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Post by FatTrucker » Wed May 23, 2007 9:21 am

Whats red, hairy and runs everywhere?.

A cat in a blender.
Darran@Retro Gamer wrote:I've played all the Bratz games and Barbia Horse Adventures, due to having two girls and they are not rubbish in the slightest.
Feel free to add me on XBL.
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Sputryk
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Post by Sputryk » Wed May 23, 2007 9:22 am

Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman are shipwrecked on an island and captured by tribesmen. The Chief tribesman tells them that they will all be made into canoes. He grants each of them one last request.

Scotsman - I'd like a bottle of whiskey.

His wish is granted and, whilst totally inebriated, is skinned and made into a canoe.

Englishman - I'd like a crate of beer.

His wish is granted and, whilst totally inebriated, is skinned and made into a canoe.

Irishman - I'd like a fork.

His wish is granted. The tribesmen look a bit puzzled. The Irishman smiles and [repeatedly stabbing his body with the fork] says "You're not making a canoe outa me!"

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Antiriad2097
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Post by Antiriad2097 » Wed May 23, 2007 9:24 am

"Mummy, mummy, why do I keep walking round in circles?"

"Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."
The Retro League - Where skill isn't an obstacle
Retrocanteen, home of the unfairly banned
Tom_Baker wrote:I just finished watching a film about Stockholm syndrome. It started out terrible but by the end I really liked it.

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Sputryk
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Post by Sputryk » Wed May 23, 2007 9:28 am

(It's those 3 guys, again) and their landrover breaks down in the desert. Miles from anywhere they realise they must walk back to town as no-one will arrive to rescue them.

The Englishman announces that he will take all the liquid, to keep them alive. He promptly sets off, lugging his load.

The Scotsman announces that he will take all the food, to keep them alive. He promptly sets off, lugging his load.

About an hour later they both look to the Irishman and say "So why did you bring the door of our Landrover?"

"Well," says the Irishman, "if we get too warm I can wind the window down!"

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Sputryk
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Post by Sputryk » Wed May 23, 2007 9:29 am

Child - "Mummy, can I go and play with Grandad again?"
Mother - "No, darling. You've dug him up three times this week already."

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FatTrucker
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Post by FatTrucker » Wed May 23, 2007 9:33 am

Russian, Irishman and an American are all sitting around a table talking about the space race.

"Ve are clearly best" states the Russian "ve launch first satellite and put first man in orbit"

"Horse..sh*t!" claims the American. "We've been at the front of the space race for years, we put the first man on the moon, we have the space shuttle, and our technology is the best in the world".

"Yere both wrong" states the slightly inebriated Irishman. "De oirish are gonna be runnin de space race, We're goin to the sun tomorrow".

"Impossible!" states the Russian, "Is too hot, you vill burn to crisp"

"Bull...sh*t!" shouts the American. "Everyone knows you can't go to the sun, its too hot, you'll burn up before you even get close to it"



"We've taught o dat" says the smiling Irishman.........................




"We're goin at noit"
Last edited by FatTrucker on Wed May 23, 2007 9:38 am, edited 3 times in total.
Darran@Retro Gamer wrote:I've played all the Bratz games and Barbia Horse Adventures, due to having two girls and they are not rubbish in the slightest.
Feel free to add me on XBL.
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