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Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2016 3:51 am
by TheDude18
Regular! Even the cleaner in work knows my routine!

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:32 am
by Katzkatz
My system is still a little behind. However, I did quite a big unloading this morning with three giant logs disposed of. I'm just waiting for the Xmas dinner unloading effects - I wonder what they'll be like this year?

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 1:29 pm
by oldtimer
"BIG STEAMER" nuff said. :shock:

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 5:12 pm
by Liamh1982
Ploppy, son of Ploppy. Plus a smell that could be used in warfare.

That's dry roasted peanuts for you...

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 7:34 am
by Katzkatz
This morning the Xmas logs were unloaded - all three of them. Quite a relief. I am still suffering from the effects of the Brussels Sprouts though.

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2016 5:36 am
by silvergunner
Black as thunder from all the King Goblin beer I have been drinking.

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:24 am
by aztecca
Had a chinese last night was pretty tasty. Duck in plum sauce and special fried rice.Got up a couple of hours ago had a pretty normal cack.But ever since it feels like little joe from punchout is inside my guts punching the censored out of me. :(

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:02 pm
by crusto
Yesterday's specimen was truly magnificent. If I were to hazard a guess at its size I would say in excess of 40cm. I couldn't see the beginning of it, but it had curled back on itself as far as the poor old pan would allow. Absolutely gigantic, with a girth at least akin to the centre of a roll of Andrex. It reminded me the big lump of black pudding you see curled up in a butchers window display.

I really should have photographed it.

It was quite stubborn too, resisting a couple of transportation attempts.

If I do have to criticise it would be in terms of aroma. It was relatively tame all things considered. But still, you can't win em all.

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 4:23 pm
by aztecca
crusto wrote:Yesterday's specimen was truly magnificent. If I were to hazard a guess at its size I would say in excess of 40cm. I couldn't see the beginning of it, but it had curled back on itself as far as the poor old pan would allow. Absolutely gigantic, with a girth at least akin to the centre of a roll of Andrex. It reminded me the big lump of black pudding you see curled up in a butchers window display.

I really should have photographed it.

It was quite stubborn too, resisting a couple of transportation attempts.

If I do have to criticise it would be in terms of aroma. It was relatively tame all things considered. But still, you can't win em all.
40cm :shock: suprised it never got stuck in the bend or did you have to chop it up?

On another note I went for a slash at work today.When id finished at the urinal.opened the cubicle door to get some bog roll to blow my nose.There on the tissue was a big brown finger print.Suffice to say the snot stayed up my hooter and the shitey thumbprint stayed on the roll.Its not the first time either fooking animals at my work.

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 5:18 pm
by Carrot007
Ahh the re-emergance of this thread has reminded me I feel quite bunged up.

I have taken some senna syrup and hope to be filling the toilet in the morning.

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 5:33 pm
by The Beans
crusto wrote:If I do have to criticise it would be in terms of aroma. It was relatively tame all things considered. But still, you can't win em all.
I watched this documentary once and it pointed out how nature often balanced things out. So like your big scorpions have pissweak venom but your really titchy scorpions have a sting that can drop a squad of elephants. I'm no scientist but I think doo is the same. This one time I was gracing the throne and honestly it felt like I was trying to crap the frickin' Death Star, it was that big. But there was hardly any smell upon completion.

A few days later I was unlucky enough to be doing prawn rotter bomblets and the smell was goddam unbelievable.

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 6:43 pm
by crusto
aztecca wrote:
crusto wrote:Yesterday's specimen was truly magnificent. If I were to hazard a guess at its size I would say in excess of 40cm. I couldn't see the beginning of it, but it had curled back on itself as far as the poor old pan would allow. Absolutely gigantic, with a girth at least akin to the centre of a roll of Andrex. It reminded me the big lump of black pudding you see curled up in a butchers window display.

I really should have photographed it.

It was quite stubborn too, resisting a couple of transportation attempts.

If I do have to criticise it would be in terms of aroma. It was relatively tame all things considered. But still, you can't win em all.
40cm :shock: suprised it never got stuck in the bend or did you have to chop it up?

On another note I went for a slash at work today.When id finished at the urinal.opened the cubicle door to get some bog roll to blow my nose.There on the tissue was a big brown finger print.Suffice to say the snot stayed up my hooter and the shitey thumbprint stayed on the roll.Its not the first time either fooking animals at my work.
It was huge, i kid you not. And I reckon 40cm was deffo in the right ballpark. I can only assume that because it was supple enough to bend back on itself without fracture it was able to slip around the bend without too much encouragement.

Oh, and your work colleagues should be lined up and shot. Despicable behaviour!

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 6:51 pm
by crusto
The Beans wrote:
crusto wrote:If I do have to criticise it would be in terms of aroma. It was relatively tame all things considered. But still, you can't win em all.
I watched this documentary once and it pointed out how nature often balanced things out. So like your big scorpions have pissweak venom but your really titchy scorpions have a sting that can drop a squad of elephants. I'm no scientist but I think doo is the same. This one time I was gracing the throne and honestly it felt like I was trying to crap the frickin' Death Star, it was that big. But there was hardly any smell upon completion.

A few days later I was unlucky enough to be doing prawn rotter bomblets and the smell was goddam unbelievable.
Prawn rotter bomblets made me chuckle lol.

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:35 am
by Katzkatz
crusto wrote:
It was quite stubborn too, resisting a couple of transportation attempts.
Be careful, you're not meant to push too much - it's meant to ease out naturally for the most part. Apparently, placing too much strain on your bowel muscles can lead to problems like hemorrhoids. Also, you're meant to squat - as scientists think that's one of the problems, because our ancient ancestors did that, but nowadays we sit down on a toilet.

Re: whats your jobbie?

Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:14 am
by Liamh1982
They're not gonna have to fumigate the bathroom so much as exorcise it after that. I swear it growled on its way out...