whats your jobbie?

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Sega2006
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Sega2006 » Sat May 14, 2016 4:50 pm

JazzFunk wrote:^I bet your anus is weeping reddy-brown tears after all that paper-chafage. :shock:
Its not too bad acctually, Im a vetran of many chilli wars so its virtually army grade down there.
Watching you sleep since 1990

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aztecca
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by aztecca » Sun May 15, 2016 2:25 pm

Well my jobbies finally caught up with me today.Came home from fishing and the drain at the side of my house is blocked.Lifted the cover and theres turds everywhere.Just waiting on the bloke to come out and clear it.The good thing about it is that the miserable censored who lives next door is having a bbq on the other side of the fence about 6ft from an open sewer over flowing with censored. God knows how he can't smell it. :lol:
SH1T HAPPENS :wink:

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JazzFunk
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by JazzFunk » Sun May 15, 2016 2:31 pm

Chicken masala last night with 8 cans of Zubr made me predict a beige Galapagos affair in the toilet bowl this morn, and call me poop Nostradamus but I was right! The curry wasn't that hot so the arseburn I got was NOT predicted, like plapping out heated broken glass it was.

I feel so scraggy posting in this thread. It's sordid. :cry:

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Katzkatz
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Katzkatz » Tue May 17, 2016 10:53 am

I seem to be on a two days cycle now, with my unloading. Just finished disposing my load - it was quite a relief to get rid of it. Left a hell of a lot of my famous skidmarks - so more brushing was required.

AceGrace
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by AceGrace » Tue May 17, 2016 11:20 am

I did one this morning that was over in seconds. Sat down, pushed, then splat. Done.

Looked a bit like tinned mince and sweetcorn.

:lol:

/horp

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aztecca
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by aztecca » Thu Jun 09, 2016 3:16 pm

Well its been a while since I've had a dump worth posting about so here goes.

I had a first today as far a jobbies go I thought in my life I had managed to pass every conceivable type of turd out of my hole.But today I got the stomach cramps at work and had to make a dash for the crapper.Something I only do in extreme circumstances as our work bog makes the one in trainspotting look like its in Buckingham palace.

Sat down and out of me ecploded a big mush of brown mess.That is nothing unusual the strange thing was the smell of it.It smelt like spearmint :?

Even as I was washing my hands someone came in and commented on the smell being like the wrigleys factory.

Guess it must have been the 5 minted lamb chops I ate last night.Still ive had the chops many times but never a minty cack after.
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Katzkatz
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Katzkatz » Mon Aug 01, 2016 9:52 am

Does that mean that you have the runs, Liamh1982?

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Sephiroth81
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Sephiroth81 » Mon Aug 01, 2016 10:58 am

Katzkatz wrote:Does that mean that you have the runs, Liamh1982?
It looks like he might need to seek urgent medical treatment for that one.

I had a mixed vegetable jalfrezi last night, and judging by a much longer than usual trip to the toilet a few hours later, I suspect I can't quite manage the hotter curries these days. A very unfortunate daddy-long-legs was in the toilet bowl at the time of this, surprisingly he avoided it all, and managed to get out before the double flush. Lucky escape.

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aztecca
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by aztecca » Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:45 am

Sephiroth81 wrote:
Katzkatz wrote:Does that mean that you have the runs, Liamh1982?
It looks like he might need to seek urgent medical treatment for that one.

I had a mixed vegetable jalfrezi last night, and judging by a much longer than usual trip to the toilet a few hours later, I suspect I can't quite manage the hotter curries these days. A very unfortunate daddy-long-legs was in the toilet bowl at the time of this, surprisingly he avoided it all, and managed to get out before the double flush. Lucky escape.

There is some kind of weird ironic gubbins there seph.A living creature barely escaping with his life from a veggie spraying his curry load on him. :lol:
SH1T HAPPENS :wink:

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Sephiroth81
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Sephiroth81 » Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:15 pm

aztecca wrote:
There is some kind of weird ironic gubbins there seph.A living creature barely escaping with his life from a veggie spraying his curry load on him. :lol:
It would indeed have been a cruel and ironic ending for him. I did take the extra time to wait for him to "buzz" off before the flush! (although I really didn't want to wait too much longer, even for a living creature!)

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Liamh1982
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Liamh1982 » Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:21 pm

Katzkatz wrote:Does that mean that you have the runs, Liamh1982?
Yes and there was blood when I wiped too, though I think that's just from a pile.

Any chance to reference Rejected though.

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aztecca
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by aztecca » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:32 pm

6lb 13 oz
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Katzkatz
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Katzkatz » Mon Aug 08, 2016 2:28 am

After I finishing chatting on the IRC last night, it was a major trip to the bog. I think what didn't help was the fact I hadn't been for three days. A major release was put upon my toilet. I think I filled the bowl with medium sized logs. I was on there for about half an hour. There wasn't much wiping needed. Fortunately, it was disposed of with a single flush as well. Such a relief afterwards - I can say.

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crusto
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by crusto » Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:54 pm

It appears this thread has suffered from constipation for the last few months. Time for a bump.

I'll start with Tuesday evenings event. One of those “without warning” types when you are thankful that you are near the toilet to begin with. It was all over in what felt like a nanosecond, however on inspection this could not have been the case as there wasn't a trace of clear water to be seen. It smelled so similar to the chicken tikka naga I ate earlier that I was tempted to spoon some out and give it a taste test. I thought better of it eventually.

This leads on to Wednesday morning at work, where by stark contrast a monumentally wide yule log was deposited, periscope variety. Seriously, I had to wait for contractions and push just at the right time to help minimise rectal stress. Who says men have no idea about childbirth :P

Jesus, its almost 3am and here I am literally talking censored on the RG forum. Must try to get some sleep.
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