whats your jobbie?

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crusto
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by crusto » Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:58 pm

aztecca wrote:
Katzkatz wrote: @Aztecca - Then why do you put your intestines and backside through such pain and torment then? Is the allure of curry so strong that you can not resist it? :lol:

No idea katz I must subconsciously like a bit of anal and gut s&m.
Ive just ate 2 sheesk kebabs in a fresh naan bread plastered in hot chilli sauce.So I know tomorrow mornings eartha kitt isn't going to be pleasant.
Hey man, if you like yourself a good ruby you should give the soho tavern a try.

https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restauran ... gland.html

It's not in the most glamorous of areas but the food is lovely.
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Katzkatz
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Katzkatz » Tue Apr 04, 2017 4:17 pm

@Crusto - What are you trying to do? One more lot of curry and Aztecca's bowels will explode on him! :lol:

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Katzkatz
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Katzkatz » Wed Apr 12, 2017 3:22 pm

Just visited the loo. Did some quite sloppy stools which did give off a bit of stink. Disposed of the minimum of flushing and brushing as well.

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crusto
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by crusto » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:40 pm

Nothing much to report of late on the turd front. :(
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aztecca
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by aztecca » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:43 pm

Katzkatz wrote:Just visited the loo. Did some quite sloppy stools which did give off a bit of stink. Disposed of the minimum of flushing and brushing as well.

2:22 pm is a strange time for a log katz.Im strictly a morning/evening dumper.Unless ive got the skitz.
SH1T HAPPENS :wink:

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Katzkatz
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Katzkatz » Wed Apr 12, 2017 9:38 pm

aztecca wrote:
Katzkatz wrote:Just visited the loo. Did some quite sloppy stools which did give off a bit of stink. Disposed of the minimum of flushing and brushing as well.

2:22 pm is a strange time for a log katz.Im strictly a morning/evening dumper.Unless ive got the skitz.
Of late, around 16:00 is usually my time for defecation.

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Katzkatz
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Katzkatz » Mon Apr 17, 2017 3:38 pm

We will soon have the welcome addition of an Easter poo. I wonder what it will be like? Egg-shaped? Now, that would be painful! Ouch! Certainly, it will be brown - much like milk chocolate, but I wonder how much of it will be chocolate based!

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The Beans
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by The Beans » Fri Apr 28, 2017 5:35 pm

Been on the Alpen for a week and it's turned my arse into a nut and oat firing blunderbus. I've forgotten what a packed stool feels like.
How come rabbits eat this crap and do solid little pellets?
I just made do with toast and marmalade this morning. I mean, enough is enough. My guts bubbled with happiness at the arrival of real food and the promise of making a proper turd.
Tomorrow I'm nailing the massive all-day brekkie at Witherspoons. Normality will be restored.
If it's slower than me, dumber than me and it tastes good ... tough titty.

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Sel Feena
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Sel Feena » Fri Apr 28, 2017 6:57 pm

Like coleslaw but poop
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The Beans
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by The Beans » Sun Apr 30, 2017 9:26 pm

These are terrible times. Terrible, terrible times. The times, they are terrible. :(

A new thing has entered my house. The wife brought it in. She brought the terrible thing in after seeing an advert on the telly. It's called VIPoo and it's a spray for the bog that neutralises turd pong. And it actually works.

Where once my deliveries to the sacred bowl wrought anguish and woe there is now only the smell of slightly chemical lemons. :(

Terrible times.

Science defeating nature. Just like that. A couple of sprays. And at £6.50 for a small bottle it better had be just a couple of sprays if you ask me. What a rip off! Though the mrs thinks it's worth every penny. But I digress.

Today's jobbie was neutralised. I shamefully admit it. :oops:

Tomorrow, though, is another day. I intend to defeat science over the coming weeks. Somehow I've got to produce a nuke of a turd with a smell so evil and wrong that they'll have to call Sapphire and Steel in to sort it out. I'm going to be eating some horrible things. Nature must prevail. Pass the Worcestershire sauce and undercook me a Fray Bentos pie, I'm going in. Lord have mercy.
If it's slower than me, dumber than me and it tastes good ... tough titty.

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TheDude18
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by TheDude18 » Mon May 01, 2017 12:07 pm

My Sunday morning dump was rather uneventful, a bit of ring sting due to the ruby from the night before but nothing I couldn't handle. I left the throne only for my wife to be to fall through the front door after her hen do and clamber into the recently vacated bathroom. My concerns for any left over stench or brown residue soon subsided when what sounded like a bucket of cold custard hit the pan with a satisfying groan. One flush later and she managed to find the sofa and collapse. It's still unclear weather the monumental dump or the late night was to blame.

Having a downstairs bog is great for access or even watching the TV while you drop off the kids at the pool. However when you create a stench so bad that the North Korea would use it as a weapon, the gas soon escapes, flooding the house, burning eyes, upsetting small children and dropping the value of your property.
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RodimusPrime
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by RodimusPrime » Mon May 01, 2017 12:09 pm

TheDude18 wrote:My Sunday morning dump was rather uneventful, a bit of ring sting due to the ruby from the night before but nothing I couldn't handle. I left the throne only for my wife to be to fall through the front door after her hen do and clamber into the recently vacated bathroom. My concerns for any left over stench or brown residue soon subsided when what sounded like a bucket of cold custard hit the pan with a satisfying groan. One flush later and she managed to find the sofa and collapse. It's still unclear weather the monumental dump or the late night was to blame.

Having a downstairs bog is great for access or even watching the TV while you drop off the kids at the pool. However when you create a stench so bad that the North Korea would use it as a weapon, the gas soon escapes, flooding the house, burning eyes, upsetting small children and dropping the value of your property.
We have an upstairs and downstairs toilet.

I am banned from using the downstairs one whenever there is anyone else in the house.

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aztecca
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by aztecca » Mon May 01, 2017 4:32 pm

RodimusPrime wrote:
We have an upstairs and downstairs toilet.

I am banned from using the downstairs one whenever there is anyone else in the house.

I am the same but banned completely from dumping downstairs.I do get up at 4:45 am everyday for work though and have a sneaky one in the downstairs every morning before anyone else is up 8) :lol: .It gives me even better satisfaction knowing im doing something i shouldnt :D

Sometimes the missus gets up around 6am for an early shift and when i get home she says there was a funny smell in the downstairs bog that morning i have been blaming it on the dodgy sewer pipes outside for years. :D
SH1T HAPPENS :wink:

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Katzkatz
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by Katzkatz » Mon May 01, 2017 5:39 pm

Today it was a single long dark brown stool. Quite easy coming out of my body. Took up a decent amount of space in the toilet's pan. Left about three brown streaks on flushdown.

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crusto
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Re: whats your jobbie?

Post by crusto » Mon May 01, 2017 11:26 pm

Katzkatz wrote:Today it was a single long dark brown stool. Quite easy coming out of my body. Took up a decent amount of space in the toilet's pan. Left about three brown streaks on flushdown.
Do you wee on the streaks later to remove them? It's one of my favourite toilet games :D. Some skids are stubborn little mofos, but I always win in the end.
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