How to Beat Home Video Games...

Discuss and discover all the great games of yesteryear!

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pocketmego
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How to Beat Home Video Games...

Post by pocketmego » Tue Aug 14, 2007 5:36 am

As a Retro gamer these stand as some of my favorite videos EVER! They are pure products of the Pre-Bust Golden Age and the mindsets and attitudes are so attuned to that era.

I chose this video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiXOVZ6GjAs

To truly demonstrate this series because of a few factors. One is the awe in which the Colecovision is held, and its "nearly perfect" arcade translation of Donkey Kong Very Happy.

Never mind the lack of a level, the fact that the game plays through the levels out of order (thus missing the point of Myamoto's story as game concept), missing enemies, and the mirror like REVERSAL of the first board.

Yeah, it's just like having the arcade game in my house. :D


The narrator of these clips is the most interesting. In some ways I could listen to him talk about classic games forever, and in others he is such a GROOVEMESITER as to be almost frightening. I love the way he talks about "faking out" the fireball on the elevator level. Plus he is so enamored that the Colecovision has ports to turn it into a computer. LOL

And you cannot ignore the MEGA-White Man's Fro that dude sports.

If you fall in love with these as I have here is the whole run of them available on Youtube...

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_q ... rch=Search

You'll thank for this...I just know it. :D

-Ray
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roberthazelby
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Post by roberthazelby » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:06 am

Cheers for the Donkey Kong link.

I wonder what the original source of this was? Some magazine covermount video tape, some in store tape, or maybe even a TV program?

I thought the guy doing the commentary was actually pretty good. Sometimes the person talking about the game can sound terrible.

Now, if you want truly awful voice overs for retro games, you NEED to check out ANY review by YouTube member paulisthebest3uk (http://www.youtube.com/user/paulisthebest3uk).

His reviews are absolutely terrible, and I challange you to try and listen to a complete one without p*ssing yourself.

Here's his Pacland (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwSikU7Oki4) review. I lost count of how many times he mentions it's for The Spectrum.

It's one of the greatest things in YouTube. It 'really' is that bad!

Enjoy!
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kiniki
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Post by kiniki » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:33 am

roberthazelby wrote:Cheers for the Donkey Kong link.

I wonder what the original source of this was? Some magazine covermount video tape, some in store tape, or maybe even a TV program?

I thought the guy doing the commentary was actually pretty good. Sometimes the person talking about the game can sound terrible.

Now, if you want truly awful voice overs for retro games, you NEED to check out ANY review by YouTube member paulisthebest3uk (http://www.youtube.com/user/paulisthebest3uk).

His reviews are absolutely terrible, and I challange you to try and listen to a complete one without p*ssing yourself.

Here's his Pacland (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwSikU7Oki4) review. I lost count of how many times he mentions it's for The Spectrum.

It's one of the greatest things in YouTube. It 'really' is that bad!

Enjoy!
You're right about this guy being crap...

Not only is he very boring... but think he actuallly farts in the first 15 seconds of this review...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kbNIdOaUNc

He keeps dying and getting annoyed as he does his "review" its great... but that little fart makes it for me!

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kiniki
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Post by kiniki » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:48 am

And this one

His 'review' of Terminus....

He's never played it before, so has no idea on how to control it.... after 2 minutes of not knowing how to play it... awards it a 8/10!

excellent in depth review!

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roberthazelby
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Post by roberthazelby » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:49 am

kiniki wrote:Not only is he very boring... but think he actuallly farts in the first 15 seconds of this review...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kbNIdOaUNc

He keeps dying and getting annoyed as he does his "review" its great... but that little fart makes it for me!
*laughs* Superb! Sounds like quite a wet one, too.

I've added a comment to that clip over on You Tube. I wonder if he'll remove it.
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FatTrucker
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Post by FatTrucker » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:53 am

Very cool. Thanks for the links.
Darran@Retro Gamer wrote:I've played all the Bratz games and Barbia Horse Adventures, due to having two girls and they are not rubbish in the slightest.
Feel free to add me on XBL.
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roberthazelby
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Post by roberthazelby » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:59 am

kiniki wrote:And this one

His 'review' of Terminus....

He's never played it before, so has no idea on how to control it.... after 2 minutes of not knowing how to play it... awards it a 8/10!

excellent in depth review!
*laughs* That is fantastic!
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kiniki
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Post by kiniki » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:01 am

roberthazelby wrote:
kiniki wrote:Not only is he very boring... but think he actuallly farts in the first 15 seconds of this review...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kbNIdOaUNc

He keeps dying and getting annoyed as he does his "review" its great... but that little fart makes it for me!
*laughs* Superb! Sounds like quite a wet one, too.

I've added a comment to that clip over on You Tube. I wonder if he'll remove it.
I've decided to follow up your comment with my own in the style of his review!

psj3809
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Post by psj3809 » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:02 am

He is actually so crap its more entertaining watching his reviews. Having a hardcore brummie accent isnt the best really for these !

Some of his other videos, of him and his mates getting drunk and doing karaoke are very amusing.

Hes so bad hes nearly good

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roberthazelby
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Post by roberthazelby » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:13 am

psj3809 wrote:Some of his other videos, of him and his mates getting drunk and doing karaoke are very amusing.
There's one hilarious one of him I found some time last year.

He'd obviously been out on the pop, come home, got the web cam out and proceeded to talk complete and utter b*llocks at it, before uploading the finished article to YouTube.

The more I think about it, the more I'm certain Darran and the RG lot should devote an entire issue to this guy. We've had masses of pages devoted to the unplayable rubbish of Mortal Kombat. This would certainly redress the balance ;)
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