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Awful 16-bit Platformers

Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:01 pm
by ChipTune
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http://retrospiritgames.blogspot.co.uk/ ... super.html


I have been trawling my way through a load of SNES and CD32 platform games over the course of the last week as I bought both machines off a guy on gumtree.

As Bubsy was featured in this months issue of RG, and it is an absolute stinking pile of horse stools, I thought I would mention some other 2d platformers that are bloody awful.

Zool - Starring some kind of stupid ant thing, Zool is a bland load of cack where you simply spin jump your way through sickeningly garish stages. I'd give this a 2/10 on a good day. One of the worst platformers ever.

Bubsy - A horrible clone of sonic - it is laughable how the interviewee in the RG feature claims Bubsy isn't a Sonic ripoff and seems to think it is better. He is wrong, it is utter garbage. Run along at speed, hit enemy, die. repeat. The awful floating jump in the final nail in the coffin. 3 / 10

Alfred Chicken - Boring and slow game set in a tedious blocky world. peck balloon, collect stuff, fall asleep. 3 / 10

Marvins Marvellous Adventure - Where to start? Wow, this is one of the most pathetic games I have ever seen. It seems unfinished. It is the easiest platformer ever made and can;t even give you sound effect AND music at the same time. appalling. 1 / 10

Aero The Acrobat - uninspired tat that is so completely devoid of character that it could have been produced by a 2D platform game generator. 3 / 10

Oscar - Dreadful platformer starring a stupid ratty thing and set in a selection of movie backdrops. Garish graphics and cheap gameplay make this one to avoid. 3 / 10

Road Runner - pretty weak cartoon tie in. Half the time you have no idea where to go or where you will land after a huge jump. It isn't as good as the c64 / NES version. 3 / 10

Robocod - why does this game get so much love? it is very average. The best of this sorry bunch, it does have some charm and humour, but the horrible jumping and cheap feel of the game ruin it. Still worth a play though. 6 / 10

Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel - another tedious offering by 'Platform Generator 2.0 for Windows'. So bland you wonder how any of the developers could gather any enthusiasm to go to work when making this pap. 3 / 10

Plok - this one I was curious to play as it has been mentioned in the RG mag a few times. But it is absolutely worthless tripe. You play as a pathetic looking thing that looks as though it was drawn and coloured by a child with bad eyesight, and the game feels like an amateur effort. Boring and completely pointless. 2 / 10


There are far far too many more to go into, but these are the ones that I have played this week and they all suck. Thankfully I have Super Mario World, Earthworm Jim, and Donkey Kong Country 2 to help me forget the above piles of excrement.

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:23 pm
by The Laird
The two Zool games are both excellent and were very successful for Gremlin. I noticed in the letters page of the new RG somebody was asking if there was ever going to be a new one.

Well we interviewed Ian Stewart of Gremlin on RVG recently and he revealed that Zool is being brought back very soon in more than one way! You can read the interview if you wish HERE!

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:27 pm
by killbot
Bubsy isn't amazing but there are far, far worse Sonic clones out there. Awesome Possum would probably be at the head of the list.

And I might be the only person in the world who likes Zool enough to own it for the SNES, Game Boy, Megadrive and Amiga. I've never finished it though, it's insanely hard. I did once spend my entire summer holidays playing it for 8 hours a day and eventually made it as far as the penultimate world but no further. It was no Sonic or Mario but it was colourful and fast and, on the Amiga at least, there weren't a lot of great platformers (Robocod, Superfrog, Arabian Nights, Ruff 'n Tumble and... that's about it) so it filled a niche in the market. The second one was a big improvement, too.

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:38 pm
by nakamura
I thought Zool was absolutely dreadful. Artistically disgusting and bland to play. Robocod was also pretty average and very much standard of home computer platform games back then.

Alfred Chicken I did quite like though and Aero the Acrobat was decent fun with some nice ideas. Never really got on with Plok no matter how much I tried though.

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:48 pm
by Combo-Breaker
Man, some of those names bring back memories.

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:53 pm
by DPrinny
Sonic on the SNES
Mario on the MegaDrive

Bloody Chinese

I liked the first Bubsy, I complted it.
Bubsy 3D is a really bad game

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 4:36 am
by RUOK
ChipTune wrote: Zool - Starring some kind of stupid ant thing, Zool is a bland load of cack where you simply spin jump your way through sickeningly garish stages. I'd give this a 2/10 on a good day. One of the worst platformers ever.

Bubsy - A horrible clone of sonic - it is laughable how the interviewee in the RG feature claims Bubsy isn't a Sonic ripoff and seems to think it is better. He is wrong, it is utter garbage. Run along at speed, hit enemy, die. repeat. The awful floating jump in the final nail in the coffin. 3 / 10

Aero The Acrobat - uninspired tat that is so completely devoid of character that it could have been produced by a 2D platform game generator. 3 / 10

Robocod - why does this game get so much love? it is very average. The best of this sorry bunch, it does have some charm and humour, but the horrible jumping and cheap feel of the game ruin it. Still worth a play though. 6 / 10
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Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 4:40 am
by psj3809
Arrrgh i'm agreeing with Chiptune ;)

Yeah many on those list i was never a fan of, moving from 8 bit to an Amiga i did try out a fair few platformers, was great to see the colour i must admit ! But many of them were pretty average and once you had bought them for quite a high price back then it was quite depressing.

I did love Sonic when it came out but all the other 'similar' games i just didnt enjoy. I know once a game comes out and its successful you have lots of clones but just didnt enjoy the others. I dont think some of the games on the list were 'shocking' but they were quite average

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 4:53 am
by Antiriad2097
The Laird wrote:we interviewed Ian Stewart of Gremlin on RVG recently and he revealed that Zool is being brought back very soon in more than one way!
No, he didn't.

He states its a favoured IP and we might see it again soon, but there's no confirmation of anything beyond that vague suggestion.

Is there some info that was cut from the published interview or have you spoken to him since that caused this confusion?

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 5:19 am
by adippm82
I agree with a good few of those listed by Chiptune, they were awful, except I did enjoy Zool 2, but the original I found very dull and predictable, it is good to get the rose tinted spectacles off with this period of gaming, especially when the 16 bits were in the ascendancy, there were a tonne of platform games, which were as numerous and boring to play as many of today's plethora of FPS ones.

Bubsy in particular is just terrible, never felt fully in control of him, and made worse by the very frequent leaps of faith, that led invariably to death, and yes, Robocod was hardly a masterpiece either IMO.

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 5:50 am
by STranger81
ChipTune wrote:
Alfred Chicken - Boring and slow game set in a tedious blocky world. peck balloon, collect stuff, fall asleep. 3 / 10
There's something about Alfred Chicken that I just love. It's not a game I've played through all the way but its got a charm that I just get drawn into.

I'd have to say Home Improvement. Loved watching it on channel 4 and rented it when it came out. What a terrible game. Stupid story and just all round lazy.

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 7:36 am
by merman
You are completely wrong on Plok. Great game.

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 7:52 am
by QuantumCrayons
Zool had issues related to its speed, but other than that it was pretty good.
Then again, the SNES version may be different from the MD version I played (Amiga is supposed to be the best, though?).

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 7:57 am
by Antiriad2097
I went back and played Robocod recently and its just not as good as memory suggests. At the time it was among the best we had on the old ST, but all the evidence suggests we just weren't getting console standard platformers on the 16 bit computers. Going back to it now, it looks ok and the controls are fine, but its all just a bit empty. A lot of level to walk through without a great deal to do.

Re: Awful Platformers

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 9:09 am
by The Hardest of All Freds
Oscar was dog turd. It was one of only 3 games I had when I got an Amiga CD32 and still I only played it once.

The SNES was host to some proper naff platformers... Home Alone, Family Dog, Wizard of Oz, Home improvement, Chuck Rock.