Worst beat-em-ups ever

Discuss and discover all the great games of yesteryear!

Moderators: NickThorpe, Darran@Retro Gamer

Post Reply
User avatar
Liamh1982
Posts: 8297
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 1:11 pm
Location: Wrexham
Contact:

Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by Liamh1982 » Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:32 pm

Played Ultra Vortek on the Jaguar? Makes Kasumi Ninja look good...

User avatar
DrBlue
Posts: 307
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 7:32 pm
Location: Lancashire

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by DrBlue » Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:39 pm

Surely either Rise of the Robots or Clayfighter on the N64 take the worst beat 'em up crown.
Image

User avatar
Megamixer
Posts: 14861
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:18 am
Location: Staffs, UK

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by Megamixer » Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:46 pm

Tattoo Assassins. Almost complete digitised one-on-one fighter with hilariously bad characters, crappy FMV intro and insane fatalaties. One fatality has a tatoo of an eagle coming to life from a guy's chest, swooping upwards and having a big green acidy crap on the loser which dissolves them.

No wonder it wasn't released :lol: . Very playable in MAME though, so bad it's entertaining.
Retro is a state of mind, and cares not for your puny concepts like dates and calendars.

User avatar
nakamura
Posts: 7582
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2009 6:32 pm
Location: Bournemouth
Contact:

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by nakamura » Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:10 pm

Street Fighter 2 on the Amiga.
http://judged-by-gabranth.blogspot.co.uk/
Antiriad2097 wrote:I have a general rule of thumb that if Nakamura likes something, it's not for me ;)

IronMaidenRule
Posts: 4413
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:33 pm

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by IronMaidenRule » Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:24 pm

Fighting Fury on PS2!

User avatar
Megamixer
Posts: 14861
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:18 am
Location: Staffs, UK

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by Megamixer » Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:26 pm

IronMaidenRule wrote:Fighting Fury on PS2!
I'm always seeing that cheap and always being tempted despite a mate once describing it as "Like Tekken but all the characters look Chinese and it's crap" :lol:

A more controversial choice but my opinion - Capcom Fighting Jam.
Retro is a state of mind, and cares not for your puny concepts like dates and calendars.

IronMaidenRule
Posts: 4413
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:33 pm

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by IronMaidenRule » Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:52 pm

Megamixer wrote:
IronMaidenRule wrote:Fighting Fury on PS2!
I'm always seeing that cheap and always being tempted despite a mate once describing it as "Like Tekken but all the characters look Chinese and it's crap" :lol:

A more controversial choice but my opinion - Capcom Fighting Jam.
Fancy doing a trade? :wink:

User avatar
Megamixer
Posts: 14861
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:18 am
Location: Staffs, UK

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by Megamixer » Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:54 pm

IronMaidenRule wrote: Fancy doing a trade? :wink:
:lol:

I detest Fighting Jam but I feel obliged to keep it as a fan of Capcom games, their fighters in particular.
Retro is a state of mind, and cares not for your puny concepts like dates and calendars.

Fred83
Posts: 6997
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 11:55 pm

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by Fred83 » Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:00 pm

Kasumi Ninja surely must take the award?-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynwIzhQoj4Q

User avatar
resident paul
Posts: 4489
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 2:26 pm
Location: Preston, Lancashire

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by resident paul » Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:03 pm

Not exactly a beat-em-up but Shaq Fu (megadrive) must be up there on there on the list
Image

User avatar
dste
Posts: 7094
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:55 pm
Location: Northumberland

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by dste » Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:08 pm

Fred83 wrote:Kasumi Ninja surely must take the award?-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynwIzhQoj4Q
WTF... I imagine that that's what playing Mortal Kombat whilst high is like.

My vote goes to Pit Fighter, goddam I hate that game.
Game Over Yeah - My Blog
Game Over Yeah - Facebook
Megamixer wrote:I never find it relaxing! Trying to hold onto my rings and not get hit by things is stressful!

User avatar
pottyboy
Posts: 1767
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2006 9:03 pm
Contact:

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by pottyboy » Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:46 pm

Can't believe no one has mentioned...

Image

Have only very briefly played the floppy version via emulation, and all I can say is that it's censored of the highest order!

And do you know what the worst thing about it was? IT WAS BUNDLED WITH THE CD32!!! What the HELL were Commodore thinking, bundling such censored with their system?! No wonder they went bust!
Image

"And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?" - Guybrush Threepwood

User avatar
RMLF
Posts: 3210
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 7:54 am
Location: Lost in the Ether

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by RMLF » Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:51 pm

Return of the Fatman-Megadrive

Street Smart

Double Dragon III: The Rosetta Stones

Pit Fighter-Snes

Clayfighter (whatever the sequel was called)- Snes
The Artist Formerly Known as Ralph Milne's Left Foot :P

Wheres Gus Ceasar when you need him?... Pah!

Ralph's Trade/Sale Thread http://www.retrogamer.net/forum/viewtop ... =6&t=22769

User avatar
JazzFunk
Posts: 1820
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:13 pm
Location: Leeds

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by JazzFunk » Thu Jul 15, 2010 11:58 pm

^Arcade Street Smart wasn't too bad (at the time) but the Megadrive version was absolute shat.

Several more:

Power Athlete on MD

Iron Commando on SNES

Cyborg Justice MD (smooooth graphics but zero else)

Body Blows on Amiga

Double Dragon on Amiga (less fun than the Spectrum version, which was marginally worse than neck cancer)

Shaq Fu goes without saying, what a terrible idea for those Delphine(?) bods to tack on Flashback-style animation into a cacky beat 'em up, such a misstep. Though I have to say, I used to love the 'Shaq Diesel' rap CD that came out months before that game was released, it was a cracking album (for a basketballer). ;)

User avatar
NonShinyGoose
Posts: 429
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:53 pm
Contact:

Re: Worst beat-em-ups ever

Post by NonShinyGoose » Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:11 am

Pit Fighter on the Master System - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwxtuLn2QpE
Gaming Gibberish - http://www.gamesasylum.com
Follow us on TWITTER - http://twitter.com/gamesasylum

360 Gamer Tag: NonShinyGoose

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest