ET phone Retro Gamer

Loftgroover · Post by **Loftgroover** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:16 pm

mikeb wrote:
Take this for example, another film license.

Looks like some kind of oddly fetishistic gardening simulator. But no, it's actually The Texas Chainsaw Massacre by Wizard Video Games.

Actually about as scary as a wet weekend in Eastbourne.

I dunno...I'm quite scared by a crazed gardener with a huge knobbly green penis....

merman · Post by **merman** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:37 pm

felgekarp wrote:
merman wrote:As Howard Scott Warshaw points out in the latest issue of gamesTM (Retro section), ET still sold a million copies...
How many got returned though?

That's AFTER returns have been deducted, according to the article...

Stuart@retrogamer · Post by **Stuart@retrogamer** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:05 pm

merman wrote:As Howard Scott Warshaw points out in the latest issue of gamesTM (Retro section), ET still sold a million copies...

I'm no movie expert, but I'm sure ET shifted more than a million copies - on VHS sales alone

andrew_rollings · Post by **andrew_rollings** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:32 pm

mikeb wrote:
Take this for example, another film license.

That's the C64 version then, right Merman???

Andrew

Frank Chickens · Post by **Frank Chickens** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 2:19 pm

I'm reading Retro Shamer a lot as it's always interesting to pick the bones of a bad game and delve into the reason why. Will the next one be World Cup Carnival or The Great Space Race as they both deserve and good going over, especially the latter.

merman · Post by **merman** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:59 pm

andrew_rollings wrote: That's the C64 version then, right Merman???

Andrew

Wiseguy

Ritchardo mkII · Post by **Ritchardo mkII** » Thu Nov 15, 2007 4:42 pm

I like Retro Shamer - reminds me of the old skool mag reviews that would crop up from time to time when a mag would really let rip (and undoubtedly lose out on some heavy marketing cash). It's funny but some of those have stayed with me far longer than the many, many positive reviews...

The Rise of the Robots piece highlighted in last month's RG is a fine example with some fabulous imagery. Another favourite was AA's trial of Count Duckula 2.

The games publishers were undoubtedly taking the p!ss with some of the games they were releasing, nice to see the mag publishers doing the same back...

On a similar vein, I'd like to see a few more articles along these lines - a regular Don't Believe the Hype section were a much praised game from yester-year gets panned (fairly or unfairly depending on reviewer bias) could be enjoyable...

bigfreakypossum · Post by **bigfreakypossum** » Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:58 am

merman wrote:(And from a historical point of view, I don't think it DESERVES the title of worst game ever. I've played worst, and indeed HSW did some nifty tricks with the 2600 hardware.)

Indeed. I think it's really cool that the static field in Yar's is actually generated from the game's code.

Darran@Retro Gamer · Post by **Darran@Retro Gamer** » Sun Nov 18, 2007 6:29 am

We're going to be visting Street Gang Football soon. It's a truly dire piece of crap that has even the computer A.I. refusing to play it (no really).

Dudley · Post by **Dudley** » Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:30 am

I'd suggest International Rugby Challenge and Kick Off 96, but you'd be better just posting the text of The Rev's reviews of same.

http://worldofstuart.excellentcontent.c ... /rugby.htm

http://worldofstuart.excellentcontent.c ... p/ko96.htm

yethboth · Post by **yethboth** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 2:47 pm

What other games does everyone think should also be in Retro Shamer?

I've got a few:

1. The Crow: City Of Angels on PS1
2. The Empire Fights Back on Speccy
3. Friday the 13th on Speccy
4. Digital Pinball on Sega Saturn

Anyone else got anymore examples that should be in Retro Shamer?

JetSetWilly · Post by **JetSetWilly** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:46 pm

Predator on the Speccy
oh, come on!! its just pure crap!!! i was sucked into the marketing ploy when i was 7 after watching the film, which was cracking, and realized i wasted Â£2.99 on something which coded by a monkey held hostage by Steve Martin.
same as Return of the Jedi, again on the spectrum. Completed it 7 times in fifteen minutes.....so bored i wanted to mince my head and serve it in a bolognase!!!!!

pottyboy · Post by **pottyboy** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:49 am

How about Akira on the Amiga? The movie is one of the greatest anmated films ever made, but the Amiga version is something else...

yethboth · Post by **yethboth** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:10 pm

pottyboy wrote:How about Akira on the Amiga? The movie is one of the greatest anmated films ever made, but the Amiga version is something else...

Agreed, RG should feature Akira on the Amiga as their next Retro Shamer game.

Gordon Bennett · Post by **Gordon Bennett** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:39 pm

I would go with Plumbers Don't wear Ties for the 3DO.

Yes, it is rare. It's also obscure, even for a 3DO exclusive title. It's also awful.

It's barely a game at all, it's just a choose-your-own-adventure dating sim with still photos and badly recorded voiceovers. The few drawn graphics in the game are by far the worst on the system. Or any system.

The game is slow, dull, and seems to go on forever before actually allowing any choices. The characters are boring, and the voice acting is terrible. It's everything you can think of that has been said to criticise interactive movies, only taken to an entirely new level.

I actually *love* interactive movies, but even I'll admit this one is awful.

There are only two small saving graces about this game. One, after suffering through the first few eternities of the game, it becomes obvious that the developers didn't even bother pretending to take the game at all seriously. They go beyond taking the censored, it becomes almost surreal at times.

Two, for all its faults, it's still far better than Hardline or A fork in the Tale on the PC.

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